Blog: Healthy Children Healthy Planet

What does it take to raise a healthy child in today's society? A discussion group of about a dozen new mothers with children under 1 year old decided to form a "Healthy Children, Healthy Planet" discussion group that met for 90 minutes each week. (Story original written for The Capital Times)

Their Story:

Tuesday July 18th, 2006

Their discussions started in early May at a near east side coffee shop and culminated last week at Goodman Park, with their 1-year-old children playing together under the oak trees.

The women who participated in this group said that the Healthy Children - Healthy Planet program was a way to further connect with one another and to have conversations about some of the principles of raising children in a healthy environment.

"Knowing that these women, my friends, are raising little ones gives me a great deal of hope for the future because they are putting their hearts and souls into the job," said Jessica, the mother of a 1-year-old boy. "The thing I most appreciated about our discussions was not consensus on any topic, it was being in community with other moms."

During seven evenings this spring and summer, the mothers in this group took a break from their families and got together for about an hour and a half to talk about a topic outlined in the "Healthy Children - Healthy Planet" book. The program, which is being offered through the local nonprofit Sustain Dane, was developed by the Northwest Earth Institute in Portland, Ore.

They talked about how children can be immersed in messages of consumerism, how family rituals and celebrations have lasting influence, how empty time can nurture creativity and how important exposure to nature can be for children, among other topics.

"I think I got some very good ideas about how to deal with the struggles of parenting," Janelle said as her daughter, Vianne, scaled the park's play equipment. "It was an opportunity to discuss, in a broad sense, the things that have been on my mind."

Along with several other mothers in the group, Janelle said that she most enjoyed the session on family rituals and celebrations, recalling moments from her own childhood that stood out as special because they were planned and repeated as a family.

Her husband is from Sweden, and she said that one thing that came out of the discussions was the resolve to celebrate all of Sweden's holidays as a family.

Jessica echoed the importance of celebrating moments in her son's life.

"I hope I can remember to celebrate life while it's being lived with my son -- the first snowfall, the first flush of autumn colors in the maples, the first completed chapter book or a summer thunderstorm," she said.

Sarah, the mother who organized this group, said that a ritual that the group came up with -- to write letters to their children on their first birthday -- will continue every year.

"It was good to take time to reflect," Sarah said as her son Wyatt swung on a swing, smiling and waving to those who passed his way.

Sarah's husband, Steve, went through the Healthy Children - Healthy Planet discussions with a group of co-workers at the state Department of Natural Resources. He said that in his discussion group, the parents were raising kids of all different ages, and that any group that participates in the program is bound to take it in its own direction.

"The idea is that people coming together in small groups come upon ideas that will become part of their lives," he said.

In addition to the Healthy Children - Healthy Planet course, Sustain Dane is also sponsoring several other courses touching on themes of environmental sustainability and simplified living. The course charge is $20 per participant for materials, and the meetings are organized by group members after an initial meeting with a Sustain Dane coordinator. More information is available at sustaindane.org and by calling 819-0689.

This group of mothers met during classes at the Happy Bambino shop for parents of infants. Althea, one of about a dozen mothers who joined, said of the group that "we'll be seeing each other for a long time."

"We're no longer dealing with tiny babies," she said as her son, Andrew, trotted into the park. "We're starting to think more long term."

Tuesday, May 30th 2006

The discussions and readings are being recapped here with the participants identified by first names only for simplicity's sake. This week's topic was time and creativity.

This week's readings started with a wonderful quote from Anna Quindlen: "The biggest mistake I made is ... I did not live in the moment enough ... I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less."

While most of the readings applied more to parents of older, overscheduled children, it doesn't hurt to learn some of the lessons early. Many of the articles and excerpts stressed the importance of giving children time to be "bored."

Twenty-five years ago in "The Hurried Child," child development expert David Elkind warned parents about the problems associated with pushing kids into too many activities and pressuring them toward physical and academic achievement. In an updated edition of his book, Elkind discusses "peer group pressure," noting that parents may feel forced to enroll their children in sports and other classes "partly just to guarantee that they'll have playmates."

One mother in the discussion group acknowledged that an older co-worker said her kids have to play soccer in order to have friends. Another mother talked about a friend whose 5-year-old daughter has an intense schedule of hockey, swimming, dance, gymnastics and piano. All of the kids in this friend's neighborhood are so overscheduled it's hard for the families to set up playtimes, the woman said. "These kids are all booked solid -- even on the weekends."

Sarah, a high school teacher, said she's concerned about the pressure on kids to be involved in multiple activities to have something to put on their college applications. "I don't want Wyatt to be really gifted," she said, noting that it would take away from family time. "Please don't be a prodigy. I don't want to deal with it."

Many of the readings suggest that giving children free time to be children awakens creativity. According to Alvin Rosenfeld, co-author of "The Overscheduled Child: Avoiding the Hyper-Parenting Trap," the current mania to raise little Einsteins is ironic since Albert Einstein was a "notorious dreamer who earned poor grades in school but somewhere in his frolics divined the formula for the relationship between matter and energy."

Most of the mothers fondly recalled carefree, unstructured times from their youth, particularly the long summer nights spent playing, with no real parental guidance.

"We spent every second outside," Sarah said about her summers growing up. Denise had similar memories, and recalled swinging from willow tree branches. She wasn't in any structured activities until middle school gymnastics, she said.

Many of the women questioned whether their children would be able to experience a similar freedom. Veronica wished that for her young son. "I would love for him to have that feeling of limitless freedom and possibility," she said.

At one point in the discussion, many of the women took inventories of their neighborhoods, some lamenting that they'd purchased homes before realizing that living close to other young families would become such an important criteria.

One mother admitted that as a girl she had a thing for fairies, another was fond of horses, and a third said she was obsessed with gnomes. A fourth was nostalgic for the neighborhood night games of her youth like kick-the-can and flashlight tag.

"We need to talk about that," said Janelle. "About letting our kids run wild with all the so-called perverts out there."

A number of the women wondered if we live in a more dangerous society full of child molesters, sexual predators and other dangers. Or are the headlines just bigger and bolder? No one knew for sure.

However, Michael Moore's 2002 documentary, "Bowling for Columbine," pointed out that while the United States has one of the highest murder rates in the world, the rate has actually declined 20 percent over the last two decades. At the same time, TV coverage of violent crime was up 600 percent.

According to FBI figures, the country's murder rate for 2004 was the lowest it's been since 1965. Overall violent crime for that year was at its lowest level since 1974.

"I don't want to keep my child inside because of my own fears," Janelle said, noting that overprotective parents can cause children to rebel in the long run.

Kate said she worried more about traffic than about molesters.

It may seem obvious, but part of being a parent is enforcing a "don't talk to strangers rule," Tara said.

Tuesday, May 23rd 2006

The discussions and readings are being recapped here with the participants identified by first name only for simplicity's sake. This week's topic is food and health.

As if new parents aren't concerned enough about what their infant children are eating and drinking, this week's readings seemed geared to put a chill up their spines.

An article from E Magazine, "Children at Risk," detailed how environmental causes are implicated in everything from attention deficit disorder to autism and violent behavior.

"The more we learn about chemicals, the more we learn that very, very early in life is the most susceptible period," said Dr. Gina Solomon of the University of California-San Francisco in the piece.

"Relative to their weight and size, children ingest more food, drink more water and breathe more air than adults," the article points out. "Their behavior only makes matters worse -- children play on the ground, where there is more dust, paint chips and other dangers, and they frequently put their hands in their mouth."

It goes on to say that young children also eat a much less varied diet, exposing them to concentrated pesticide residues. According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, the average 1-year-old drinks 21 times more apple juice, eats two to seven times more grapes, bananas, pears, carrots and broccoli than an adult.

There was a bit of a backlash toward this week's readings. Some of the women found them overwrought and preachy. Most of the mothers are already keenly interested in what they feed their babies and in making sure their children are getting a balanced diet.

None of the women, it seems, buys all organic all the time, but a number of them have joined a CSA (community supported agriculture) farm to get fresh produce free of pesticides this summer. Others grow vegetables in their gardens or shop at farmers' markets.

The nearby Willy Street Co-op generated a bit of controversy.

One mother griped about paying $6.50 for a cauliflower at the co-op, while others complained about how upscale or pretentious the store has become. Another woman said she likes to shop there but is tired of the "holier than thou" bumper stickers from people who don't flinch at spending $10 for a small bag of apples.

Jessica, who works with underprivileged youths, got upset when she considered how poor families she knows simply can't afford to buy organic. "It seems elitist to me," she said.

The majority of these parents make homemade food for their babies instead of buying jars of Gerber. In fact, when one mother made reference to "stages" of baby food, a couple of others had to be told she was talking about commercial food.

A conversation about what foods babies enjoy revealed that a lot of them love eggs, which are a major source of protein. Most of the babies have developed a taste for a variety of vegetables and have mothers who claim tots are unfazed by spicy food, or even like it.

Janelle said that her daughter eats everything and refuses nothing. "We want Vianne to eat what we eat. If it's too spicy, I'll put some sour cream in it," she said.

Sarah reported that Wyatt's new favorite food is spanakopita, a Greek spinach pie, and that he will eat an adult-sized portion.

Veronica's baby, William, is on an "egg strike" but enjoys a good Indian buffet, she said. He is particularly fond of the Indian flatbread, naan, which has become one of his first words.

Tuesday, May 16 2006

Not only can advertising make people want things they don't need, an ad's job is "to make them unhappy with what they have."

Children, of course, are the most impressionable and vulnerable. Before entering first grade a child will have soaked in 30,000 advertisements. It doesn't get any better in adolescence, where the time teenagers spend absorbing ads is more than their total stay in high school.

Those disturbing facts were included in "The Religion of the Ad," by Brian Swimme, one of the readings for the third chapter of the "Healthy Children, Healthy Planet" discussion group. The session examined advertising more directly than it was addressed in the first discussion on the broader topic of cultural pressures.

The discussions and readings are being recapped here with the women identified by first names only for simplicity's sake.

"I think we are all a little bit susceptible. It is a mistake to say I don't think it will get to my family," Cecily said, pointing out that it helped that her mother would take her to anti-war protests and other non-commercial events when she was young so she could experience the "variety of life."

A large section of the readings looked at corporate influence in the schools with billboards, ads on school buses, soda machines and even fast food outlets in the buildings.

"Is nothing sacred?" asked Kate.

But Mandee, a nutritionist, said that parents can go too far trying to shield children from advertisements. "The best thing we can do is communicate with children about what that Coke machine means at school. Helping them understand is our biggest task."

Parents can teach kids to be critical consumers and critical thinkers in general, Kate added.

Everyone agreed that you'd have to escape to the middle of nowhere to avoid the powerful influence of ads.

The advertising discussion quickly turned to self-esteem with many of the women revealing that they'd had confidence issues growing up.

"How are we going to build self-esteem in our children so they will be getting the message from us and not advertising?" asked Jenny, who was facilitating the meeting.

"That starts now," suggested Denise. Praise your child for the small things they are doing, like playing with their blocks, she said. At the same time, it's important not to overdo the praise so it becomes the center of everything they do. "You don't want to tell her every day that she is beautiful or she'll begin wondering 'Am I beautiful today?' "

Jenny, a child care worker, said that building authentic self-esteem is a big topic now in early childhood development circles.

Simply praising everything a child does is not effective because it creates a judgment and a standard, she said. Instead, Jenny recommended interacting with the child, expressing interest in what he or she is doing and asking questions.

For instance, if the child is painting a picture, the parent could say, "that must make you really proud" or "you are using yellow and green, what does that mean?"

Kate suggested asking, "Did you have fun painting that?" rather than pronouncing it the greatest painting in the world.

Althea credited her mom for the strong self-esteem she developed growing up in Madison as the oldest of four children. Thinking back to middle school, she said, "My mom knew me and who I was. She gave me the space to be myself."

The most important way to instill self-esteem is for a mother to love herself and her own body, Cecily added.

Tuesday, May 9th 2006

In a recent column Garrison Keillor had a funny line about parenting.

"People congratulate you on having done a fine job raising your children, you say thank you, even though you know the truth."

A part of that truth is that as important as it is, eating together as a family is becoming harder to pull off. As life gets busier -- especially in single-parent homes or in households where both parents work -- the family dinner can seem like a quaint, romanticized ideal.

Marie Sherlock, in her 2003 book, "Living Simply with Children," says that 54 percent of all families eat together five or more days a week. "Eating together regularly is an important tool for staying in touch with your kids and indeed, for family sanity," she writes.

While the family dinner doesn't exactly apply yet, a group of about a dozen new mothers with children under age 1 who have formed a "Healthy Children, Healthy Planet" discussion group had a lot to say on the topic. The group meets for 90 minutes each week at Escape Art Gallery & Java Joint on Williamson Street. Their readings and discussions will be recapped here with the women identified by first names only for simplicity's sake.

The second session examined family rituals and celebrations. Eating meals together is, of course, the most basic of those rituals.

A report by the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse found that teenagers who don't eat meals with their families are twice as likely to use drugs as those whose families eat together every night. An excerpt from Sherlock's book also noted that the single commonality among National Merit Scholars is that their families ate dinner together regularly.

Sherlock also suggests establishing a family day or night: one day of the week when no one schedules anything else in order to protect family time. The family night can be as simple as eating pizza together every Friday and watching a movie.

Group members agreed about the importance of setting aside a particular day. Jenny stressed that rituals need to be fought for. Veronica added that once the battle is fought, the ritual is locked in.

Creating a family day is a good habit to start now, while children are still young, Denise said.

Where to find time for family activities? Janelle repeated a suggestion from one of the readings: "Turn off the TV."

Another reading encouraged parents to think about their "warmest, most positive" childhood memories, noting that the majority of them probably revolved around family rituals -- "the repeated, coordinated, meaningful activities of family life."

Group members recalled yearly vacations, gifts and holidays. But there were a few twists.

Jessica mentioned that her mother would always read Truman Capote's "A Christmas Memory" at holiday time. "The wonderful story would set the tone for the sweetness of the season," she said.

Jenny and her mother had a family tradition of writing out their hopes, wishes and predictions before New Year's every year. They kept them in a safe deposit box and still have all the archives.

Veronica and her mother would have an annual contest to be the first one to see various signs of spring: the first blackbird, the first dandelion, the first lilac. "It was competitive but sweet," she said.

She also noted that her husband's family has a tradition of jockeying to be the first person to say "rabbit" on the first day of the month.

Denise said that her husband's family plays the same game but they say "rabbit, rabbit." Apparently, it's a British folk custom that can take many forms and is meant to ensure good luck for the rest of the month.

Tuesday, May 2nd 2006

Call it hippy-dippy, touchy-feely, or Madison-Shamdison. But in the past two years, 1,000 people have gone through community discussion groups on sustainability offered by the local nonprofit environmental group Sustain Dane.There are six courses: Healthy Children, Healthy Planet; Voluntary Simplicity; Discovering a Sense of Place; Choices for Sustainable Living; Globalization and Its Critics; and Exploring Deep Ecology.

The self-facilitated courses and their reading materials are designed by the Northwest Earth Institute, based in Portland, Ore. A representative from Sustain Dane leads an introductory meeting and attends the first session to get it started. Materials are $20 per member. To form your own group, contact the organization at info@sustaindane.org or 608-819-0689.

A discussion group of about a dozen new mothers with children under 1 year old decided to form a "Healthy Children, Healthy Planet" discussion group that meets for 90 minutes each week at Escape Art Gallery & Java Joint on Williamson Street. The mothers will be identified here by their first names.

The first session dealt with cultural pressures, stressing the way modern American culture produces little consumers from birth.

An article that ran in Mothering magazine, "The Parents' Bill of Rights," says that each week the average American child takes in 38 hours -- a full workweek -- of commercial media.

The rise of electronic media has made it nearly impossible for parents to control or even monitor the messages their children receive.

One dramatic example of advertisers bypassing parents and going directly after kids actually comes from the 1950s, when Welch's grape juice began sponsoring the "Howdy Doody Show." Grape juice sales to families with young children increased nearly fivefold, the article says.

Althea pointed out that messages from parents still hold weight, and Janelle added that parents can still control what and how much television their children watch.

But kids cannot be completely sheltered either, Tara said, agreeing that parents need to set limits.

Sarah suggested keeping the TV and computer in a central location so parents can keep better tabs on what their children are up to. As a teacher at East High School, Sarah said that the vast majority of her students have televisions in their own rooms, but that far fewer of the "talented and gifted" students do.

Jessica laughed about how susceptible young people are to marketing and branding, recalling her "need" for a particular turquoise Guess sweatshirt when she was young.

"The Parents' Bill of Rights" article also detailed the "nag factor" corporations depend on, with a media consultant claiming that nagging is responsible for about a third of family visits to fast food restaurants as well as video and clothing purchases.

Kate mentioned that the grocery store where she shops actually has a "kid friendly" checkout aisle without candy or tabloids. But, she said, in most retail settings children are bombarded at the checkout by brightly colored products at kid height urging "buy me!"

Jenny, who works in early childhood education, revealed one winning strategy. Always give kids a choice: "You can have one cookie or no cookie." Or for little ones who resist getting a diaper change: "We can change your diaper now or in one minute."